Beating Yourself Up Over Weight

Are you a woman that has been very successful with many things in life, but you can’t seem to lose the weight permanently?  Then you beat yourself up over your extra weight? 

Do you tell yourself all kinds of awful things about your body when you look in the mirror or hop on the scale? 

Do you have a lot of “shoulds” going on in your mind?

I should be thinner.

I should be able to keep weight off.

I should be further along in my career.

I should have a family that gets along.

I should have more money at this stage in my life.

I should ____________________________.  You can fill in the blank.

The messages you tell yourself have a direct impact on how you feel.

If you keep on berating yourself, you are going to feel like shit.

If you feel lousy what do you usually do?  Overeat?  That’s what most emotional overeaters do.  Then you feel worse.  It may seem like a never-ending cycle. 

I thought I would never conquer my emotional over-eating, but I did, and you can too.  I learned that when I wanted to inhale a box of Oreos or a bag of chips it was a signal for me that I needed to pause and ask myself what I was thinking.  Your thinking determines your feelings and you do have control over your thinking. 

When you’ve had one of those days and you feel like diving into the pint of Ben and Jerry’s or the box of Oreos here are some ideas to help you.

Pause- stop right in your tracks

What feelings am I trying not to feel?

Why am I feeling this way?

Here’s an example:

I was feeling sad and wanted to eat a lot of sweets because I didn’t want to feel sad.  I wasn’t exactly sure why I was feeling sad and then I thought about it and realized I was missing my mother who past away a long time ago.  I was at a friend’s 50th birthday party and her mom and dad were there too.  After we sang happy birthday to my friend, her mom gave her a big hug and kiss.  Gulp and ouch.  I miss my mother’s presence, her kindness and love.  At times, it is still heartbreaking for a short while. 

Once I realized what I was feeling, I was trying to suppress my sadness with cake, I no longer felt the need for the cake.  It is OK to miss my mother and acknowledge those feelings, then move on.  Sometimes just the awareness is all you need to make a shift in your thinking.   

Once you realize and become aware of what you are feeling and why you don’t need to change it right away.  Take a deep breath and let yourself acknowledge your discovery.  Treat yourself with compassion as you come to understand what was driving your actions.  Again, sometimes awareness is all you need for the feeling to dissipate and that urge to overeat will end on its own.

You don’t have to be perfect!  Whew…. thank God for that.  How about you accept yourself right here and right now just as you are?  What?  That’s right.  You have obviously accomplished many things up to this moment.

If you have any questions about how to stop and pause before you go for the tub of ice cream or cookies, please let me know.  I will personally get back to you within 24 hours.  You can conquer emotional/stress eating and be at your ideal weight!

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