Are you comparing and cringing?
You are on the way to the gym and you are feeling OK about the way you look in your work out outfit. You are giving yourself a 6 out of 10 and you are OK with this.
Then you see a couple of young women at the gym and they look amazing. Suddenly your 6 rating you gave yourself plummets to a 2 rating. The negative self-talk starts in. You know what I mean?
Why do you do this?
In today’s world women are encouraged to compare themselves to what they see in magazines, social media, video, etc. You are always evaluating your own self- worth based on external things like physical appearances and how attractive you are to men. You may also believe that male approval is essential.
How did all this start?
You may have an existing belief about your own lack of worth. You may have developed this belief from your family of origin.
I can remember my father telling me that I was going to be short, fat and dumpy. I was a little chubby as a teenager and in his own way he was trying to help me. I took this in as, I am not worthwhile and don’t have value. I chose to think these thoughts as a teenager. Now I know better and I don’t have this belief system.
When you compare yourself to other women, you assume they are prettier, smarter more successful and better than you.
Here’s a Big Secret:
Just because someone has gorgeous long legs, a huge diamond ring or a successful business doesn’t mean they are happy.
Their thoughts determine their happiness and they could have the same thoughts as you do about the person sitting next to them.
Comparing and cringing drills down to this:
- You want what another person has because you believe you would be happier.
- Happiness is created by your thoughts about your worthiness.
Back in my 20’s when I wanted to lose 50 pounds, I wasn’t feeling very good about how I looked to say the least. I couldn’t manage to lose the weight on my own, so I hired a coach.
I learned that even though I was over-weight, I had value and could look attractive in nice clothes. I didn’t have any clothes that fit so I went out and bought a few things that fit so I could look nice. This made a world of difference in my attitude and thinking.
No matter where you are right now with your weight, you are valuable, attractive and have worth.
I have been in your shoes and I know it’s not easy. You can look and feel better.
I understand the feelings of defeat and despair about the weight. There is hope!